Baby got back- Sevie style
by hellangel1
Summary: From the twisted minds of hellsong and Willangel 101. Severus Snape rapping Baby Got Back. C'mon, you know you want to read THIS...
1. Default Chapter

Merlin's balls, Lavender, look at her butt  
  
It is so big  
  
She looks like one of those Potion master's girlfriends  
  
Who understands those Potion masters anyway  
  
They only talk to her because she looks like a total Head Girl, ok?  
  
I mean her butt  
  
It's just so big  
  
I can't believe it's so round  
  
It's just out there  
  
I mean, it's gross  
  
Look, she's just so white  
  
[Severus]  
  
I like big butts and I cannot lie  
  
You other Death Eaters can't deny  
  
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist  
  
And a round thing in your face  
  
You get sprung  
  
Wanna Apprate up front  
  
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed  
  
Deep in the robes she's wearing  
  
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring  
  
Oh, witchy, I wanna get wit cha  
  
And paint your picture  
  
Dumbledore tried to warn me  
  
But with that butt you got  
  
Make me so horny  
  
Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin  
  
You say you wanna get in my bins  
  
Well use me, use me cuz you ain't that average ??????  
  
I've seen them castin'  
  
The hell with askin'  
  
She sweat, wet, got it goin' like a potions set (think cauldron brewing)  
  
I'm tired of parchment slings  
  
Saying flat butt's the only thing  
  
Take the average warlock and ask him that  
  
She gotta pack much back, so...  
  
Wizards (yeah), wizards (yeah)  
  
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)  
  
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt  
  
Baby got back  
  
(Gryffindor face with Slytherin booty)  
  
I like 'em round and big  
  
And when I'm throwin' a gig  
  
I just can't help myself  
  
I'm actin like a dragon  
  
Now here's my shaggin  
  
I wanna get in my chambers  
  
And ugh, double ugh, ugh  
  
I ain't talkin' bout CharmBoy  
  
Cuz Engorgement charms aren't made for toys  
  
I want em real thick and juicy  
  
So find that juicy double  
  
Mixalot's in trouble  
  
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble  
  
So I'm sittin at Pub Crow  
  
Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes  
  
You can have them bimbos  
  
I'll keep my women  
  
A word to the ripped Weird Sisters  
  
I wanna get with ya  
  
I won't cuss or hit ya  
  
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna shag  
  
Til the break of dawn  
  
Witch, I got it goin on  
  
A lot of Death Eaters won't like this song  
  
Cuz them sadists like to hit it and quit it  
  
But I'd rather stay and play  
  
Cuz I'm long and I'm strong  
  
And I'm down to get the friction on  
  
So witches (yeah), witches (yeah)  
  
If you wanna fly on my broomstick (yeah)  
  
Then turn around  
  
Stick it out  
  
Even Muggles got to shout  
  
Baby got back  
  
(Gryffindor face with the Slytherin booty)  
  
Yeah baby  
  
When it comes to females  
  
TeenWitch and got nothin to do with my selection  
  
36-24-36  
  
Only if she's 5'3"  
  
Her boyfriend flirts with Ronda  
  
Swimmin in the bath by Fonda  
  
But Fonda ain't got a stopper in the back of her pond- a  
  
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon  
  
You can do small charms for some things but please don't lose that butt  
  
Some wizards wanna play that hard role  
  
And tell you that the butt need to go  
  
So they toss it and leave it  
  
And I pull up quick to retrieve it  
  
So TeenWitch says you're fat  
  
Well I ain't down with that  
  
Cuz your waist is small and your curves are magickin'  
  
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'  
  
To the wand thin dames in the magazines  
  
You ain't it Miss Thang  
  
Give me a witcher I can't resist her  
  
Rice pudding and tarts didn't miss her  
  
Some Death Eaters tried to dis  
  
Cuz his witches were on my list  
  
He had game but he chose to hit 'em  
  
And pulled up quick to get with 'em  
  
So witches if the butt is round  
  
And you wanna triple X throw down  
  
Owl me at 1-900-mixalot and kick them nasty thoughts  
  
Baby got back 


	2. Read on...

Hey everybody! No, this is not another chapter… but it is the reason for the madness. Originally this ficcy was posted under Willowangel101, then hellangel was created, and we put it under there. Now we are adding this little part… and we know that this isn't really Severus/Hermione, but c'mon, who do you think he's singing for?  
  
Also, it has come to our attention that at least one member, if not all, of the Werid Sisters are men. Oops… just ignore that, we haven't read the little side books yet. Another error… we didn't replace Sir Mix-a-lot with Severus at the end… *holds out their wrists for slapping* sorry bout that…  
  
And we forgot the disclaimer… so… (big surprise) we own neither Harry Potter or Baby Got Back. 


End file.
